[Text] ☠ The voice someone calls.

[nightprince]

[ ... Unlike his usual peppy self, Ryoji's post to the network is short and private client messages are left to several people. All of them are in plain black text, however. You can tell something is up, he's bothering to use apostrophes and such. ]

[ FILTERED FROM IZAYA ; UNHACKABLE ]

... I'm sorry, everyone. If I'm not around this week, something important happened. I'll be at the Volo dorms if you really need to get in contact with me.

- Ryoji

[ FILTERED TO AIGIS ; UNHACKABLE ]

[ ... His typing drops here considerably when he messages Aigis and Vriska, as though he is upset. ]

Can we talk???????? im downstairs.

[ FILTERED TO VRISKA ; UNHACKABLE ]

[ ... This is hard on him. But he trusts Vriska, so he will get her opinion too. ]

hey........ i need to talk to you. were moirails, right...? its really important. i know the Curse is over now and i really need to know what you think about this before i do something i might wish i didnt... or did.

im not sure right now.

Comments

video--> action; fl;aksjdf; ohmygod ohmygod

[effier.livejournal.com]

[This -- no]

Ryoji --

[She hangs up. She doesn't care what she looks like or what she's wearing and her hair is probably a mess but she's rushing out of her house and to the Volo dorms anyway, showing up in at least 10 minutes and hesitantly letting herself into the dorms. She'd never been here before. She closes the door behind her, eying the lounge around her when she sees Ryoji, curled up into himself. Immediately, she rushes over to him.]

Ryoji -- please be okay. Don't be hurt. You're okay, right?

action forever! alksdjhkd IKR

[derparcana.livejournal.com]

[ He looks up slowly, as if he's barely aware of her presence.

But he is. And he... smiles, though it is unreadable. A mere mask. ]

... It would be okay, if I was the one who was hurt, wouldn't it? You can't hurt me... no one could hurt me.

[ He was death, after all. ]

THIS IS HORRIBLE ;A;

[effier.livejournal.com]

[She's on the verge of tears and she doesn't know why. He's always been so kind to her. What happened that made him so dark and unreadable and sad?]

Ryoji, what happened?

[She kneels down in front of him, looking up with worry in her eyes.]

IT IS >:

[derparcana.livejournal.com]

[ He just... fusses with his scarf a little, absently. ]

Minato was drugged. I'm certain he nearly died, though he won't tell me exactly what happened, the culprit thought it would be funny, so he also made sure to announce he did it.

[ He can't look at Effy right now. ]

I might hurt you, if you stay here... I can't leave him. I have to stay by his side. But... I can't leave here, either. If I do, I will surely go kill this man. ... You can't really remove instinct from a creature, Effy-chan. Especially not one like me. All you can do is suppress it...

why is this happening

[effier.livejournal.com]

Creature?

[She lets out something between a choked sob and a laugh.]

Whatever it is you are, doesn't define you as a being. It's what you do that makes you human.

[Then, she stands once more, pulling Ryoji in softly for a hug.]

Because Izaya. : |

[derparcana.livejournal.com]

[ ... T-this girl... what a reversal. He can't believe this is happening. He's quiet for a moment, before he just... laughs. ]

... I know. But you don't know. You don't know what I'm capable of.

[ He's already cried too much today; there are no tears LEFT to cry. He's... tired. Tired and hurt and so, so fractured, split in two directions.

Make him pay.

Don't do anything rash.

The beast inside him agreed with Vriska. He wanted to kill Izaya. He just... limply sits there, the contact... is grounding. He needed it. He needs to know he's human right now. ]

I... I don't want him to hurt anymore... all he does is hurt... all he does is sacrifice himself... I'm just making it worse.

[ A bitter laugh. ]

I wonder... what do you see, when you look at me? I'm stronger than anything living... but I still couldn't protect him. He won't let me. Why...?

he needs to go away so they can be happy and frolic in flowers

[effier.livejournal.com]

[Effy doesn't pull away from him, in fact, after his words, she seems to be holding onto him even more so than she had been. Softly, she replies;]

I don't ....

I think you should be there for him, as a friend, Ryoji. I'm here for you. You're not invincible, you get hurt, just like everyone else.

ikr. :c

[derparcana.livejournal.com]

[ ... He can't cry anymore, but there's a small, strangled noise from the boy as he wraps his arms around her. ]

I'm a horrible friend.

[ He bites his lip. ]

B-but what kind of friend would something like me even be, anyway...? I'm not human. I don't deserve to be CALLED it.

[effier.livejournal.com]

[She's torn. She doesn't know what to say.]

Ryoji, what are you that's so horrible to you?

[Because he wasn't horrible. He wasn't a monster, or a serial killer or a sociopath. He was kind-hearted and honest and sweet and hilarious at times. Why was he refusing to see himself for what he really was?]

[derparcana.livejournal.com]

... I'm not... like you. Minato and I are...

[ He inhales quietly, pulling away from Effy, then stands up. He turns his back. ]

It's... it's easier to show you than it is to understand. To explain. Human language... no, it doesn't work very well. And... and... don't say that you can't hate me, that's PART of the point... humans instinctually embrace death.

[ His smile is bitter, even if Effy can't see it. ]

[effier.livejournal.com]

[She withdraws her arms, looking at him with so many emotions it probably doesn't seem possible.

Wait, what was he talking about?]

What does death have to do with you?

[1/3]

[derparcana.livejournal.com]

... What does death have to do with me...? No. Death has nothing to just do with me. Death is me. Your life is mine to toy with, and your soul mine to collect.

[ Here, he smiles, and there's... a really frightening look to it, here. Those blue eyes? The pupils are red now, instead of transparent or black.

... That is not normal. This... this is not normal. ]

[2/3]

[derparcana.livejournal.com]

[ ... He slowly reaches out, putting a hand over Effy's heart gently. Not to grope, just above her breasts and feeling it beat, because... they are so close. ]

Did you know that, Effy-chan, that when their air supply is cut off that the average human can live for... say, give or take their height and weight and how fit they are, around a little more or less than a mere three or so minutes? When the heart stops pumping, the brain will slowly die, shutting down. Oxygen supplies blood, which is what makes it so crucial...

[3/3]

[derparcana.livejournal.com]

... You have a really kind heart.

[ He smiles quietly, removing his hand. ]

I have one, too. It's important, that I be human... haha. You know... I can show you, what I am. But... will you be afraid?

It's funny. Humans are... usually very frightful of me. But then so many times they wish for me...

[effier.livejournal.com]

[Effy takes a step back. Being one for almost committing suicide, she can't help but be drawn to the strangeness that he admits to, but she's also scared. She's never seen anyone like this and never expected to see, out of all people, Ryoji like this.

She's quiet. Nothing comes out of her mouth and even though she wants to say something, she can't. She never actually expected to meet death. It was just a figment of everyone's mind, anything that they could imagine up to be. For it to take the shape of a boy around her age? That was fucked up.

Finally, she takes a deep breath, the only bit of air that seems to enter her lungs is all that she needs.]

You're -- death is a natural thing, Ryoji. Isn't it?

[derparcana.livejournal.com]

... Oh, I think you're confused. Dying is a natural process. All things cease to be eventually. But perhaps it's living that's the unnatural thing, in the end. Humans are fragile. They either embrace life, or embrace the thought of perishing.

[ He is nonchalant about his words, looking away with amusement. Cold, vague amusement. ]

But there are some who are afraid of both.

[ He looks at his hands here, as if musing to himself. ]

I don't feel anything right now. That's how I was in the beginning. This body and everything you know about me is entirely a lie.

[effier.livejournal.com]

You can't just bunch those two things together and discard everything else.

[She seems a bit angry. Everything being a lie? She didn't believe that.]

Shut the fuck up.

[derparcana.livejournal.com]

... Do you honestly believe humans didn't cause their own problems?

[ He knows. He didn't want to tell Effy this way, but it has to be done. ]

I told you not to come here and you didn't listen. I might hurt you.

[ His blue eyes look back at her, solemn. ]

I was created by people, who more than anything believed that ending the world was the best for everyone. That's my role. That's what I am. The Goddess who brought you all to life... the negativity humanity creates on a daily basis causes her more pain than you would ever even realize. All because they desire the end.

So that's what she'll do. She'll try to end all life, because humans wish for it. To stop hear their pain.

Or at least they do in some small way.

[ He doesn't seem very fazed right now. ]

You've thought it too, haven't you? Everyone's guilty of it, even in the least extreme form. I can sense that much.

[effier.livejournal.com]

Of course people cause their own problems. Sometimes it's uncontrollable.

[She's more than just shocked at what he's telling her.]

We move on. You're bunching each thing into a fucking black hole. That isn't what life is. We all have our own pain, we can't just cover it up all the time. You're mad.

[Oh no he didn't.]

My boyfriend saved me. I was mad, too. I was really gone. But then my mum and friends helped me and I got better. I'm better. You're not making any sense. People do what they do because they choose to do it. You can't -- she can't end all life because she can't deal with their pain. Her pain is ours, don't you get that? We deserve to live.

[1/2] akshdg sobbbbbb what is this train wreck of a thread

[derparcana.livejournal.com]

[ He sighs, looking away. ]

... I'm not the one who sees it that way. Those are her feelings. But people can't collectively ALL be changed at once... not in that kind of number. Maybe if people's negativity wasn't causing issues...

[ He never had been the one to doubt people. ... No. He realizes what's going on here, he thinks, and he honestly isn't happy about it. But now that they've come this far, he realizes the only thing left to do is properly explain it.

... In a way, it's given him some of his sense of self back. Suppressing that horrible side of him he doesn't want to exist. Some humanity. ... Heh. ]

You don't believe me partially because you don't understand that... right? Do you know what I am? My body was bound and created from negative manifestations of people's suppressed sides. The ones they don't want to admit exist. They call them Shadows.

[ He moves, getting up and striding away from her, back facing her. He's pacing. ]

I'm not supposed to exist in any form on your plane. I shouldn't exist. I don't have any choice in what my role is. ... But I have a choice in the things that I do while I'm here. It hurts. It hurts a lot that the one person important to me almost died.

[2/2]

[derparcana.livejournal.com]

[ ... Still pacing, he stops, clenching a fist. ]

... I want to kill the person who hurt Minato. But... you have to understand that I'm not human. I have more than human emotions to worry about. I didn't even know what they were before I met him. All I did was kill and try to escape. That was all I did. ... I'm an instinct. That's what Death is. An instinct, a desire, more than just a state.

[ He looks back to her, trying to remain calm. ]

I could show you. The form you see is one humans trust. ... It was his gift to me. A sign of our impossible friendship that never should have happened.

1/2 ; because sadness is a horrible, horrible thing ;~;

[effier.livejournal.com]

You think -- she thinks killing everyone and creating everything new again will fix everything?

[She doesn't believe it. All people are the same and whatever this ...she...Ryoji? Was trying to do, was going to repeat itself over and over. People don't care, and they most definitely don't change.

She pauses, swallowing hard. The sickness that was twisting in her stomach was overcome by sadness and pity.]

2/2 ;

[effier.livejournal.com]

I've seen a lot of fucked up things, Ryoji. People here make friends with monsters and things that don't exist.

But I don't want it. The people I've met are people. I make sure to know they're not actual things that make people hurt. Death is life, and I really don't give a fuck about what you're going to do at home. You're here. We're friends, right?

[derparcana.livejournal.com]

That's... what she believes.

[ He considers her words. Yeah, it's messed up. There's really no way around it. ]

I can't ever go back. Not even briefly. If I do... I'll lose everything.

[ ... He's afraid. He's scared. He can't honestly say he isn't. ]

But that's... that's just it. That is me. Or... or some part of me. Right now I'm too dangerous to be around. Not... not in this state. I don't want to hurt you.

[ He's not sure how he might, either. Be it physically or otherwise. ]

There really isn't anything I can do about it. Not yet. I keep hoping I'm going to find some kind of answer to the entire thing here. The fact that I'm going to just become her puppet... even if I did come back here after that, there's no telling if I would ever be able to understand myself anymore.

[effier.livejournal.com]

I don't think you're dangerous.

[Even though she didn't believe what she said. She did care for him, she did like him quite a lot. She can't just ..leave.]

You will.

[Because he can. She knows it.]