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nightprince[ Ryoji hadn't noticed, but when he sat down on his bed, he accidentally turned his SFC on. Currently? The screen shows the little thought bubble following him around. His thoughts are vague, to an extent, at the moment, but what you'll notice is that the inside of the bubble is darker in color than most. Sort of like there's a little black mist inside it. The text on it is white. White, on black.
He's pacing in his dorm room at the moment. It's late, and he can't sleep. ]
He left.
[ A pause, a blink. A nod. It was reflecting his thoughts, huh? Yeah. But it wasn't really so bad... was it? An image of Minato--blue hair--comes up, then disappears. ]
It's my fault.
... I know.
[ Then an image of what looks like the moon, and then something big... with two sets wings, and a long sword. It's vague though, and it's hard to tell what it really is. It's only somewhat humanoid in shape. ]
Fighting it is... impossible. Maybe one day I'll just...
That won't happen...
[ This thought is a little more graphic. An image of some kids all wearing red armbands, being consumed by some sort of darkness, and then a hollow-looking, creepy white mask, eyeless, and smiling. And then lots of red blood. It flashes back as he shakes his head. ]
But how can it not, right?
I... I won't do that.
But I will. And then how will anyone stop me? You can't stop something like me. That's impossible.
It's... he did it. He still managed... it's okay. He's back now.
[ He takes a breath, getting up, and turns his back, trying to ignore that pestering, persistent, awful little bubble. He doesn't think it's so cool anymore. ]
But what if I do slip? What if they're wrong about how time passes? What then?
[ He falls silent. His biggest fears, and it was very, very right. He doesn't want to say it though. ]
I don't want to kill them. I don't want to hurt anyone. Vriska, Minato--I'm part of him but I took his life from him... because of me, his friends will never get to be with him at home. I really don't deserve to be a human, or even to feel. I never should have existed.
I... I really don't like this place right now... why does this have to happen to us? I hate these curses.
[ Eventually, Ryoji rests his head against a wall, closing his eyes, and biting his lip. The words keep going, though. Because he is, in fact, quite worried. ]
But blaming Vatheon isn't right. You wanted him to kill you because you're afraid, aren't you?
T-that isn't true. I've accepted it. It's inevitable.
[ The bubble continues heedlessly on, and Ryoji looks down at it with a defeated, pained expression. ] Without him, you don't even exist. Vriska, too! She validates your existence, but then when you're alone, what are you really? Just a shadow. A tool. Nyx's puppet. And then you don't even feel like you're real.
T-that's not true... I'm... I'm Ryoji. No one else. And I will never, ever be anything else. Minato-kun said so.
[ ... Ryoji tries to pop it as it continues on, but to no avail. After he tries to half-heartedly swat it away, he fails. So he instead returns to leaning his head against the dorm's wall, and then the feed cuts abruptly as a kitten hops onto the bed, and accidentally shuts the SFC off. ]
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no subject
Date: 2011-05-14 01:34 pm (UTC)[Breaking the hug because touchy feely things ew.]
no subject
Date: 2011-05-14 01:48 pm (UTC)[ Aww, Vriska. He won't say a word. c: Just a smile, before he sits down quietly on the bed. ]
But I'm still grateful for what I have. When I was created by people... I didn't have this form. I've wondered about it a lot... what would have happened if I hadn't gotten where I am now? But... I'm here now.
Maybe you'll be able to... bring me back.
In more ways than one.
no subject
Date: 2011-05-14 02:57 pm (UTC)Not maybe. I will.
no subject
Date: 2011-05-14 04:00 pm (UTC)But I know he won't.
[ He looks down. ] Well... I guess it's the right choice. But... I'll lose this form if I go back at all. And my mind will go with it--I'll just become her puppet. I was that way before I had free will... and I don't want to be that way again. I like being a person.
[ ... That white mask and the wings... the thing that showed up before appears in his own bubble this time. ]
But I've been fighting her for so long... she created everything, so she can take it away. But she's doing it because people just want an easy way out. And that's not right... but what can I do? No matter what happens... this body will vanish completely.
Death... wasn't meant to be given a form.
no subject
Date: 2011-05-15 06:11 am (UTC)[This... optimistic talk makes sense to her!]
no subject
Date: 2011-05-15 09:11 am (UTC)[ ... It's like this is entirely new information to him. Actually, good job, Vriska. ]
... I am. You're right. I can't... take back what I did... the people I've killed... but I can do better here! Because there are people here who need me, so... I have a reason to be around.
[ A pause. ]
Vriska-chan, you and Minato-kun... you guys make me feel wanted. It's... it's nice. Thank you.
no subject
Date: 2011-05-15 09:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-15 10:10 am (UTC)[ Vriska he is picking up your eight second dramaaaaaaaatic habits. ]
no subject
Date: 2011-05-15 11:02 am (UTC)[Happy things in the bubble!]
Are you finally feeling better?
no subject
Date: 2011-05-16 08:45 am (UTC)[ He's... ridiculously happy right now, actually. ]
Vriska-chan, you know, you're really right. You're changing, too. In a lot of good ways. I'm really proud.
[ He is beaming. It shows. ]
no subject
Date: 2011-05-16 09:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-17 06:45 am (UTC)[ He just laughs. He can't help it. ]
But if you say so. Just know that I'll never buy it.