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nightprince[ Ryoji hadn't noticed, but when he sat down on his bed, he accidentally turned his SFC on. Currently? The screen shows the little thought bubble following him around. His thoughts are vague, to an extent, at the moment, but what you'll notice is that the inside of the bubble is darker in color than most. Sort of like there's a little black mist inside it. The text on it is white. White, on black.
He's pacing in his dorm room at the moment. It's late, and he can't sleep. ]
He left.
[ A pause, a blink. A nod. It was reflecting his thoughts, huh? Yeah. But it wasn't really so bad... was it? An image of Minato--blue hair--comes up, then disappears. ]
It's my fault.
... I know.
[ Then an image of what looks like the moon, and then something big... with two sets wings, and a long sword. It's vague though, and it's hard to tell what it really is. It's only somewhat humanoid in shape. ]
Fighting it is... impossible. Maybe one day I'll just...
That won't happen...
[ This thought is a little more graphic. An image of some kids all wearing red armbands, being consumed by some sort of darkness, and then a hollow-looking, creepy white mask, eyeless, and smiling. And then lots of red blood. It flashes back as he shakes his head. ]
But how can it not, right?
I... I won't do that.
But I will. And then how will anyone stop me? You can't stop something like me. That's impossible.
It's... he did it. He still managed... it's okay. He's back now.
[ He takes a breath, getting up, and turns his back, trying to ignore that pestering, persistent, awful little bubble. He doesn't think it's so cool anymore. ]
But what if I do slip? What if they're wrong about how time passes? What then?
[ He falls silent. His biggest fears, and it was very, very right. He doesn't want to say it though. ]
I don't want to kill them. I don't want to hurt anyone. Vriska, Minato--I'm part of him but I took his life from him... because of me, his friends will never get to be with him at home. I really don't deserve to be a human, or even to feel. I never should have existed.
I... I really don't like this place right now... why does this have to happen to us? I hate these curses.
[ Eventually, Ryoji rests his head against a wall, closing his eyes, and biting his lip. The words keep going, though. Because he is, in fact, quite worried. ]
But blaming Vatheon isn't right. You wanted him to kill you because you're afraid, aren't you?
T-that isn't true. I've accepted it. It's inevitable.
[ The bubble continues heedlessly on, and Ryoji looks down at it with a defeated, pained expression. ] Without him, you don't even exist. Vriska, too! She validates your existence, but then when you're alone, what are you really? Just a shadow. A tool. Nyx's puppet. And then you don't even feel like you're real.
T-that's not true... I'm... I'm Ryoji. No one else. And I will never, ever be anything else. Minato-kun said so.
[ ... Ryoji tries to pop it as it continues on, but to no avail. After he tries to half-heartedly swat it away, he fails. So he instead returns to leaning his head against the dorm's wall, and then the feed cuts abruptly as a kitten hops onto the bed, and accidentally shuts the SFC off. ]
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no subject
Date: 2011-05-13 01:21 pm (UTC)It was...just his way. I'm grateful for the reminder.
no subject
Date: 2011-05-13 10:18 pm (UTC)Issun comes to mind.]
no subject
Date: 2011-05-14 01:10 am (UTC)[ This does not please him, no. ]
... Besides, why the heck would you be grateful for a punch to the face? I swear, this guy is NOT normal. Normal people don't punch others in the face, Minato-kun.
no subject
Date: 2011-05-14 02:43 am (UTC)To being held up by his collar. To those words--
'Then you're being more selfish than I thought, you little bastard.'
He shakes his head.]
...Weren't we going to go get music?
[But he doesn't...really expect Ryoji to let this go.]
no subject
Date: 2011-05-14 03:14 am (UTC)[ A pause. Oh--wait. ]
Oh, right... I'm Ryoji Mochizuki. You're not a normal dog, huh? No, you look pretty interesting.
[ And then the words Reminds me of Nyx... appear in his bubble. ]
[text]
Date: 2011-05-14 03:26 am (UTC)[text]
Date: 2011-05-14 03:37 am (UTC)[Text; filtered]
Date: 2011-05-14 04:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-14 04:28 am (UTC)[ And he stops walking, turns to Minato, then frowns. ]
I want to know. Talk to me.
no subject
Date: 2011-05-14 04:33 am (UTC)One of my new acquaintances found out that...I died. He wasn't happy about it.
[Echoes-- 'You get one shot and you make the choice to let it go?!'
...hnngh.]
no subject
Date: 2011-05-14 04:36 am (UTC)[ It's very important that his bubble doesn't get shown to the other. ]
no subject
Date: 2011-05-14 04:39 am (UTC)[ Irritated? Yes. ]
But... you're not selfish. Why would he even say that?
no subject
Date: 2011-05-14 04:42 am (UTC)[He's telling all of this for a reason, and it's vaguely reflected in his thoughts--and echoes of that conversation. 'Your death probably wouldn't help anyone as much as you living would.']
...And he had a point.
no subject
Date: 2011-05-14 04:44 am (UTC)[ ... ]
I don't want to give up what he gave me. There's not a lot I can do at this point, but... I'm not going to give up completely
That... wouldn't be right.
[text]
Date: 2011-05-14 04:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-14 04:51 am (UTC)[ He rubs the back of his head a bit. ]
Maybe he did have a point. But... well, what exactly did he say? And why is it bothering you so much, Minato-kun?
no subject
Date: 2011-05-14 04:54 am (UTC)So there's no point in giving up at all, kid. You'll just waste more of that time and opportunity.
To let go even an inch for even a second- that's not right either.
no subject
Date: 2011-05-14 04:55 am (UTC)He shouldn't be as wryly amused by that as he is.]
He just reminded me of the people I left behind.
[...]
Yes...that was selfish. I know I had no other choice, and I don't regret my decision.
[...but it still hurts, put into that light.]
[text] -> [action]
Date: 2011-05-14 07:56 am (UTC)[Click! After 3 minutes, here she is.]
[1/2]
Date: 2011-05-14 10:03 am (UTC)[ He smiles. ]
Wanna know what I think? I think the fact that you fought for weeks and weeks after what you did JUST to be with those very same people until graduation... isn't just 'accepting' it. I think that although our world may not be changeable as it is... this one is different.
What I think is that if they show up here, then you should tell them. Junpei-kun is already here, right? And Akihiko-senpai. If you've realized that... then dwelling on it and beating yourself up? What good would that do, Minato-kun? Why not refocus on... making sure you correct the mistakes you made?
[2/2]
Date: 2011-05-14 10:07 am (UTC)It's not much... and I know there wasn't much I could do. But when I left the dorms, I... went searching. For answers--about me, about everything. And a way to... prevent the Fall, and from becoming what I would.
[ A pause. ]
... Obviously it's unavoidable, because humans hurt a lot... and because Nyx feels it too. But... what we can do is take what we've learned and done here back to our world, and try to better it. And who knows? Maybe we'll be able to find a way to succeed; to change our world from what it is. It might seem impossible, but... when has that ever stopped you guys?
[ His smile widens, and he turns around, looking up. ]
I've said it once, and I'll say it again: this guy? Isn't from our world. He doesn't have the right to fully judge what happened. But what you did... while it's kind of a paradox, and maybe it was a little selfish, was the only option at the time.
But we're both fighting what'll happen--or, well, we did fight it, anyway. And all we need to do is keep believing that we can make a difference. If anyone can do that... it's you.
[action]
Date: 2011-05-14 10:15 am (UTC)A moment's pause. ]
... There's something I need to show you. But you have to promise me you won't freak out or anything, alright?
[ ... Not that he thinks she'll flip out, but... well. Just in case. ]
[action]
Date: 2011-05-14 10:22 am (UTC)[Sitting on his bed!]
[action forever; 1/2]
Date: 2011-05-14 10:57 am (UTC)[ There's a brief moment's pause, before a light about as bright as what Vriska herself can make fills the room. A foreboding feeling of coldness and death fills it, along with the rattling of chains. ]
[2/2]
Date: 2011-05-14 11:02 am (UTC)When he speaks, there's no mouth or even any movement, merely the floating of the coffins and chains around him. His voice sounds like it's been run through some sort of strange machine: dark, distorted. ]
... This what I actually am. The form you know is one that was created entirely by accident because of how I came into existence about ten years ago.