望月 綾時 ☾ Mochizuki Ryōji (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
nightprince) wrote2011-05-10 03:35 am
nightprince) wrote2011-05-10 03:35 am
[Accidental Video] ☠ A shadow fades in bright light.
[ Ryoji hadn't noticed, but when he sat down on his bed, he accidentally turned his SFC on. Currently? The screen shows the little thought bubble following him around. His thoughts are vague, to an extent, at the moment, but what you'll notice is that the inside of the bubble is darker in color than most. Sort of like there's a little black mist inside it. The text on it is white. White, on black.
He's pacing in his dorm room at the moment. It's late, and he can't sleep. ]
He left.
[ A pause, a blink. A nod. It was reflecting his thoughts, huh? Yeah. But it wasn't really so bad... was it? An image of Minato--blue hair--comes up, then disappears. ]
It's my fault.
... I know.
[ Then an image of what looks like the moon, and then something big... with two sets wings, and a long sword. It's vague though, and it's hard to tell what it really is. It's only somewhat humanoid in shape. ]
Fighting it is... impossible. Maybe one day I'll just...
That won't happen...
[ This thought is a little more graphic. An image of some kids all wearing red armbands, being consumed by some sort of darkness, and then a hollow-looking, creepy white mask, eyeless, and smiling. And then lots of red blood. It flashes back as he shakes his head. ]
But how can it not, right?
I... I won't do that.
But I will. And then how will anyone stop me? You can't stop something like me. That's impossible.
It's... he did it. He still managed... it's okay. He's back now.
[ He takes a breath, getting up, and turns his back, trying to ignore that pestering, persistent, awful little bubble. He doesn't think it's so cool anymore. ]
But what if I do slip? What if they're wrong about how time passes? What then?
[ He falls silent. His biggest fears, and it was very, very right. He doesn't want to say it though. ]
I don't want to kill them. I don't want to hurt anyone. Vriska, Minato--I'm part of him but I took his life from him... because of me, his friends will never get to be with him at home. I really don't deserve to be a human, or even to feel. I never should have existed.
I... I really don't like this place right now... why does this have to happen to us? I hate these curses.
[ Eventually, Ryoji rests his head against a wall, closing his eyes, and biting his lip. The words keep going, though. Because he is, in fact, quite worried. ]
But blaming Vatheon isn't right. You wanted him to kill you because you're afraid, aren't you?
T-that isn't true. I've accepted it. It's inevitable.
[ The bubble continues heedlessly on, and Ryoji looks down at it with a defeated, pained expression. ] Without him, you don't even exist. Vriska, too! She validates your existence, but then when you're alone, what are you really? Just a shadow. A tool. Nyx's puppet. And then you don't even feel like you're real.
T-that's not true... I'm... I'm Ryoji. No one else. And I will never, ever be anything else. Minato-kun said so.
[ ... Ryoji tries to pop it as it continues on, but to no avail. After he tries to half-heartedly swat it away, he fails. So he instead returns to leaning his head against the dorm's wall, and then the feed cuts abruptly as a kitten hops onto the bed, and accidentally shuts the SFC off. ]
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