[Text] ☠ The voice someone calls.

[nightprince]

[ ... Unlike his usual peppy self, Ryoji's post to the network is short and private client messages are left to several people. All of them are in plain black text, however. You can tell something is up, he's bothering to use apostrophes and such. ]

[ FILTERED FROM IZAYA ; UNHACKABLE ]

... I'm sorry, everyone. If I'm not around this week, something important happened. I'll be at the Volo dorms if you really need to get in contact with me.

- Ryoji

[ FILTERED TO AIGIS ; UNHACKABLE ]

[ ... His typing drops here considerably when he messages Aigis and Vriska, as though he is upset. ]

Can we talk???????? im downstairs.

[ FILTERED TO VRISKA ; UNHACKABLE ]

[ ... This is hard on him. But he trusts Vriska, so he will get her opinion too. ]

hey........ i need to talk to you. were moirails, right...? its really important. i know the Curse is over now and i really need to know what you think about this before i do something i might wish i didnt... or did.

im not sure right now.

Comments

[action forever]

[derparcana.livejournal.com]

[ ... He is just barely holding himself together.

Being... human. He is not crying. The crying had been finished long ago. The tears are all dried up. The humanity, perhaps, went as well with his emotions, long past gone. All that there is left is a sort of... quiet, broken semblance of his once-humanity, and an attempt at trying to repiece himself back together as he was before this mess.

Ryoji is wearing a thin veil of sanity at the moment; of humanness. There is... no expression. No frown, no smile, no attempt at his usual manner of trying to lighten the mood--nothing.

Just... nothing. His eyes are hollow.

To an extent, he can feel the things that Minato can, and he is not well. In more ways than one. Eventually, he manages to look at her, himself, but it is as though he is looking through Yukari more than at her. It is a piercing gaze, nothing like the normal gentleness his blue eyes usually hold. ]

... It's fine.

[ It seems... Minato wasn't the only one who had been heavily affected by this incident. He gently reaches out, to touch her hair. It's not... an intrusive gesture, but it isn't an absentminded one, either. ]

It could almost be comical, at this point. ... I suppose this proves how fragile humans really are.

[ And he... just lets go quietly. ]

I wonder... what it is you see, when you look at me. You've spoken with me, haven't you? Who do you think of me as, Yukari? I think... what you're seeing is only what you want to see.

[ He then falls silent, looking now to the side, a small, unreadable smile on his face. ... It's an odd expression for him. Ryoji is usually... so open. So genuine. So easy to see, but right now... it's more like a mask than a smile. ]

Re: [action forever]

[tsundyne]

[ .....she doesn't believe him. The same way she didn't believe Minato, when he came walking into the dorm the night before, shaking and trembling. It's not fine, and this is only reaffirming her guilt. But...now that it's too late, the only thing she can do is try to make it better--try being the operative word.

...she can only do so much though, in her condition. Ryoji's not the only one who's bent out of shape over it. Minato had reassured her--he trusted her, and she was grateful for that, but still. The thought that there's someone in the city who would do something this to him--the thought that he's probably...still shaken...

She barely flinches when Ryoji touches her hair. She simply blinks--and when he lets go, she starts to shake. ]

I...only see you. Not the son of Nyx, or the Nyx Avatar. I--see Ryoji Mochizuki.

[ ... ]

...do you think that's wrong of me?

[ She seems to have trouble keeping eye contact, but at this point, she's not sure if it's because of him, or...because of her. ]

[derparcana.livejournal.com]

[ ... He's quiet for a long moment. ]

... No. I think you saw what I wanted you to see. That's all.

[ That's all he says, expression oddly... calm. ]

He'll be okay, eventually. But will you?

[ The way Ryoji asks this... isn't exactly concerned sounding. More like he's pointing out a fact. That Yukari is not well either. ]

[tsundyne]

...I...

[ Yeah, she kind of notices the lack of concern, and it comes off a bit insincere. But...well, she's hardly faulting him for it at this point. Even she's not that petty. She just sighs. ]

I have no choice but to be. I guess I'm just...stubborn like that.

[ Putting herself back together, no matter how many times she breaks. Heh. ]

...and I could ask you the same question.

[derparcana.livejournal.com]

[ ... He is losing his composure to his nature, isn't he? He needs to regain it.

Maybe after he snapped Izaya's neck he'd be okay. Words he bit back saying. Words he wanted to say, but prevented. ]

... That's exactly the same for all of us.

[ They have no choice but to be. Haha. ]

I wonder if he'll ever realize how lucky he's been so far.

[ Sighing. That was him. ... Hadn't he ever thought about it? All those close calls. ]

[tsundyne]

...I think he knows.

[ Or at least, Yukari told him so. And he seemed to believe her--or so she'd like to think. Minato's not one to lie or...be distrusting, which she suspects might be have led to this whole mess. She wouldn't mind getting her hands on this 'Izaya' either, watching him squirm.

But it's the last thing Minato would want. And it's the last thing Ryoji needs. She bites her tongue. ]

But even if he is...luck isn't something that should be relied on.

We...

[ ...

They are a lot more reliable, aren't they? His friends, family, his nakama.

And Minato...he's finally starting to realize it, if only slowly. ]

[derparcana.livejournal.com]

... No. It isn't. Especially when it isn't always luck.

[ An absent sigh. What could he do...? ]

I guess we just wait to see what he wants to do. ... Which is probably nothing.

[ But it bothers him, doing nothing. ]

[tsundyne]

Well, he is our leader... [ Because in truth, Yukari would always think of him as such. ] I guess that just comes with the territory, yeah.

[ She seems very accepting of this fact, though--in truth, it bothers her, too. Knowing that Izaya is essentially getting away with what he did is infuriating, enough that her hands are in fists without her even realizing it. They shake a little, too--and she lets out a sigh. ]

...it's hard, isn't it. Knowing his name, seeing him around. It feels like a crime, letting him loose like that after what he did.

[ She scowls a bit, but quickly realizes....this isn't going to help. W-where is she going with this again... ]

But I trust in Minato-kun, and I know you do, too.

We don't...we don't want to make things worse for him.

[derparcana.livejournal.com]

... No. I'm sure I've already made things bad enough.

[ He can't suppress a sigh here. What was he, even, to say the things that he had? ... They weren't him.

They couldn't have been. Could they? Did he really hate this person that much?

It troubled him a lot, knowing that monster was what he was. What Izaya had done wasn't forgivable, but still... that hadn't been any excuse, had it? ]

[tsundyne]

...what do you mean?

[ Yukari looks at him, confused. As far as she knows, Ryoji is the one who was able to find him and help him after the fact, so she's not entirely sure what he's getting at here. She wanted to be that person. She would've killed to be able to be that person...

It troubles her that she wasn't, though she has to bite those feelings back for now.

She's not the issue here. ]

[derparcana.livejournal.com]

[ ... He looks down. He's trying so hard not to break down right now. He can't. ]

I... I told myself... if Minato didn't hate him... I wouldn't either, but when I saw the message he left...

[ He was so filled with rage. Feelings he didn't... even know were his, really.

What kind of monster was he, anyway, to say the things that he said? ]

[tsundyne]

[ ...oh. She...she supposes there was a reason then, that she decided she would not use her SFC for a few days. She's afraid the temptation to say something--to start something, anything, would be too much--

And she's not particularly feeling social anyway. ]

...I didn't see it.

[derparcana.livejournal.com]

[ ... He's quiet for a long moment. ]

... Be glad you didn't.

[ He looks away, a small, wry smile forming on his face. ]

It was awful. He said he had "learned" that playing with boys was a waste of his time... like he was just some toy... it still makes me angry.

[ He looks down, fists clenched, but his strained smile is still there. ]

I... I want to do what's right... but I don't know if I can, if I'm such an... inhuman monster to guys like this one.

[ ... The things he had said were horrific. ]

[1/2]

[tsundyne]

[ ....she is. She is glad, though it's because of Minato that she was able to show even that much self-restraint, so she supposes she can't take the credit for that. She simply lets out a breath, listening to him speak, her fists tightening--

She would've loved to borrow Akihiko-senpai's punching bag right about then, but she settles for beating on her knees instead. The frustration had to come out somehow.

Minato.....as some...toy... ]

[2/2]

[tsundyne]

...yeah. Well. Some guys deserve to be treated like that. [ Izaya is definitely one of them. ] And the fact that you spoke with him...the fact that you spoke with him, and he's still alive, in one piece...

Well. I think it probably says more about you as a human being than you think.

[ ....that was meant as a compliment...she thinks. Though she's not entirely sure how it came out anymore. Her thoughts seem fleeting and unfocused right now. ]

[derparcana.livejournal.com]

... Hey, Yukari-chan?

[ He's quiet for a moment. ]

That... means a lot to me. We'll just have to try harder from now on to help him... right?

[tsundyne]

[ ...she nods, quietly. Hearing his words is kind of a relief, since...it seems like she's helping him. If only a little. And this is helping her too. ]

I promised...that I would. And to take care of myself, too.

[ For her own sake, but for his as well. ]

You...you should do the same. I-I don't think...he'd want to lose either of us...