nightprince | [Text] ☠ The voice someone calls.

[ ... Unlike his usual peppy self, Ryoji's post to the network is short and private client messages are left to several people. All of them are in plain black text, however. You can tell something is up, he's bothering to use apostrophes and such. ]

[ FILTERED FROM IZAYA ; UNHACKABLE ]

... I'm sorry, everyone. If I'm not around this week, something important happened. I'll be at the Volo dorms if you really need to get in contact with me.

- Ryoji

[ FILTERED TO AIGIS ; UNHACKABLE ]

[ ... His typing drops here considerably when he messages Aigis and Vriska, as though he is upset. ]

Can we talk???????? im downstairs.

[ FILTERED TO VRISKA ; UNHACKABLE ]

[ ... This is hard on him. But he trusts Vriska, so he will get her opinion too. ]

hey........ i need to talk to you. were moirails, right...? its really important. i know the Curse is over now and i really need to know what you think about this before i do something i might wish i didnt... or did.

im not sure right now.

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[ ... Still pacing, he stops, clenching a fist. ]

... I want to kill the person who hurt Minato. But... you have to understand that I'm not human. I have more than human emotions to worry about. I didn't even know what they were before I met him. All I did was kill and try to escape. That was all I did. ... I'm an instinct. That's what Death is. An instinct, a desire, more than just a state.

[ He looks back to her, trying to remain calm. ]

I could show you. The form you see is one humans trust. ... It was his gift to me. A sign of our impossible friendship that never should have happened.

You think -- she thinks killing everyone and creating everything new again will fix everything?

[She doesn't believe it. All people are the same and whatever this ...she...Ryoji? Was trying to do, was going to repeat itself over and over. People don't care, and they most definitely don't change.

She pauses, swallowing hard. The sickness that was twisting in her stomach was overcome by sadness and pity.]

I've seen a lot of fucked up things, Ryoji. People here make friends with monsters and things that don't exist.

But I don't want it. The people I've met are people. I make sure to know they're not actual things that make people hurt. Death is life, and I really don't give a fuck about what you're going to do at home. You're here. We're friends, right?

That's... what she believes.

[ He considers her words. Yeah, it's messed up. There's really no way around it. ]

I can't ever go back. Not even briefly. If I do... I'll lose everything.

[ ... He's afraid. He's scared. He can't honestly say he isn't. ]

But that's... that's just it. That is me. Or... or some part of me. Right now I'm too dangerous to be around. Not... not in this state. I don't want to hurt you.

[ He's not sure how he might, either. Be it physically or otherwise. ]

There really isn't anything I can do about it. Not yet. I keep hoping I'm going to find some kind of answer to the entire thing here. The fact that I'm going to just become her puppet... even if I did come back here after that, there's no telling if I would ever be able to understand myself anymore.

I don't think you're dangerous.

[Even though she didn't believe what she said. She did care for him, she did like him quite a lot. She can't just ..leave.]

You will.

[Because he can. She knows it.]

[ ... She doesn't understand, does she? Just how dangerous he can be if he loses his self-control.

Then he has to show her. ]

... I'm sorry for this, Effy-chan.

[ There's a small moment of a pause where he's quiet. He turns around. There's a sort of darkness in his hand, and then a sword appears in it. ]

[ ... And he quickly grabs Effy effortlessly, picking her up by her shirt and backing her against a wall.

This takes only seconds. The sword is at her throat. Around him float coffins--faintly, as if only in a ghostly sort of image--and he looks at her evenly. ]

... I don't think you're quite understanding what I told you. I am extremely dangerous, make no mistake about that.

[ In fact, it is almost effortless. He looks at her, expression cold. ]

This is my human form. Do I really need to change entirely to get it into your head that I will hurt you if I lose my self-control or if I go home and come back here?

[ That sword is dangerously close, but he isn't hurting her. ... Not yet. ]

So you don't believe I'm dangerous. ... Don't make me laugh.

[The shock that she feels when he picks her up, even with his build -- it always looks so light and she's never even guessed he had that kind of power. She lets out a small cry, and it can't even get past a whimper.]

[The sword -- everything happened so fast. Her whimper turns into a choked sob as she tries to speak, tries to get him away from her. She doesn't like feeling this afraid, she'd felt it once before and it was --

she can't even go to that point of her life.

When she speaks up, her voice is coated with sadness and fear, but it's strong, and comes out louder than she expected.]

I'm not scared!

Edited 2011-07-15 23:42 (UTC)

[A shaky breath and she's grabbing at his shirt, trying to push him away, but she collapses from pressure, breaking into a fit of sobs as her hand reaches to rest at his shoulder, clutching his shirt and trying to do anything but touch the blade.

It's cold. She can feel it even though it's not touching her.

It's cold like this whole situation.]

[ ... That's how death is. Death's vastness holds no peace. It's only cold and empty, and it saps any energy or happiness and exchanges it with fear.

That is what his power is. That is what he is. And he knows it.

He merely lets her go, quietly, and gently, backing away. The cold feeling in general leaves the room, and some of the lights flicker briefly as that odd dark, blotchy substance appears in his hand, and disappears. The sword is gone when it is also gone. ]

Then you need to be. ... Listen to your instincts. Fear is not something to shun, it's meant to protect you. This... is me being nice, Effy-chan. I'm sorry. Your safety means more to me than my own happiness, and if you're around me when I'm in this state or worse...

[ He smiles, but it's... off. Not happy. More of a mask than anything. ... Hah. Masks. In the end, wasn't that what Nyx would do to him? The ultimate Shadow... yes, that was what he was. The only Shadow with a mask on a human face. He still was incredibly bitter about this. ]

I can't tell you what I'll do. ... You think I'm a nice person because I care, but... that's not my nature. Not really. There's a difference between how I choose to be and how I actually am.

[She kind of just ....stands there. She can't get herself to move.]

I can't believe you did that.

That's exactly why I had to. You didn't believe me.

[ He can tell. ... It was for her own good. Nothing more, nothing less. ]

Effy-chan, go home. ... Please.

You held a fucking sword to my neck.

[She's glaring at him now, she can't help it.]

And it's just 'Effy'.

[And she does go home, she leaves him where he is because she can't handle anything anymore.]

[Text] ☠ The voice someone calls.

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1/2 ; because sadness is a horrible, horrible thing ;~;

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[2/4] ... Yeah okay WOW I LIED BIG TIME SORRY

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